Resilience and Torture

Through one of our partner organisations, our entire network was invited to a workshop on torture and resilience for peopel working with children, organised by the American Embassy. The Center for Victims of Torture facilitated it, an NGO based in the US and strongly outspoken against the possible American use of torture.

They worked in countries like RD, Sierra Leone, and our facilitator, a psychologist named David, had accompanied child soldiers there. Quite fascinating stories, and he used dance as a therapeutic tool, with moves that express feelings and emotions. We did an exercise on role play, in which a child that has lived through a traumatising experience can express itself and try to deal with it. You pick a theme, eg, violence, or trust or betrayal, and ask them in groups of four or five to work around it. A volunteer from the children is asked to share a story with the others around this topic. He then picks somebody to play his role and directs the others, restaging the entire event, but now from the point of view of somebody who is in control. It can dramatically change his prespective or outlook, as well as for the others, being put into these situations (often very recognisable) can be confronting and provoke useful debates and sharing. Imagine doing a play around bullying, and a bully being put in the shoes of the bullied... Most of the groups we did it with invented a story though, made it more like theater than as a therapeutic tool. Even our group started out like that, and though it allows to discuss themes and visions, it does not have the same impact as personal memories or traumas. But then of course, with people you just met in a workshop, it is hard to share personal memories and stories like that...

So, though I am sure the others from my group had a lot more stories than they wanted to share with us, I eventually volunteered to try and do it with my small trauma of getting attacked in Jo'burg, what is now already 8 years ago. I didn't even realize at the time I had been traumatised, but having gone back to the place just last year, the strong emotions etc made me realize it was. And actually, that has been quite helpful in order to better understand and grasp therapies or counselling tools, just imaging working with those tools around that (ridiculously small) personal trauma. And here again, it changed my perspective: it seemed I just couldn't get it right, I kept asking them to change this or that, the agressor to be more threatening, the bystanders more guilty as they just watched, the police man less friendly. I wanted it to ressemble it the situation completely, and it all came flooding back. Not in a bad way, or as flashbacks, but still. So it was useful as how to talk and share this kind of memories...

Can't say I felt healed or had the impression of getting closure though. Maybe lack of time, or lack of aftertalk, or maybe it just isn't a wonder tool for me either...

Safely back in Zim

Well, I had been looking forward to it since a couple of days, we're back in Zim!
Visiting Belgium always is a bit of busy running around with backpacks and trying to see as many people in as little time as possible, but still have quality time.
So yesterday we got back into Harare, again with Ethiopian Airlines and their precious 45kilo allowances of which we make the most. Veerle had come to pick us up just before they are leaving to Madagascar. All of Volens cooperants seem to be away for now, holidays to Belgium or elsewhere. It does mean that nobody seems to be really waiting for us. But it was nice getting back home, where the paint has arrived so we can make it even more homely soon.
Dexter, our cat and pathetically enough one of the main reasons I was anxious to get back, was fine, had gotten bigger but remains tiny if I compare him with Harry, our cat in Liege.
And now, I got the bike back out, am back at the office with the uncertain internet connection, still trying to get my hands on some Zim money but to no avail so far. It'll be another meatless meal today I fear...

My second tattoo

When I turned twenty four, after graduating and leaving Belgium on my first real job, I got my first tatou. It was based on the Arab word for respect, but with added symbolism.


Now, for my thirtiest birthday, and while starting out in Africa as a continent to explore, I got my second, based now on the chinese symbol for "balance". It is placed on my upper left thigh, symmatrical with the first one which is on the left thigh (with a birth mark in the center).



The last image is a picture of how it looks on my skin, freshly put on today...

Trouw van ons moeder, Annie en Jan

Deze dag, 8-8-8, hadden Jan en ons moeder gekozen om hun huwelijk te houden.
Eerst naar het stadhuis, met dichte vrienden en familie, dan naar het parochiezaaltje om het feest te houden.

Buffet, de kinderen die voor jeugdfoto's hadden gezorgd om te projecteren en een kleine kwis, muziek. Tot tegen 23u30, toen we nog snel gingen opruimen.

Veel geluk gewenst aan het paar!

Solution Focused Therapy : Miracles?

While I am here in Belgium, I wanted to use my time here to look for some of our Western therapeutic tools, especially the ones developed for dealing with children and bereavement or traumas. Through Gérald Brassine, a Belgian psychologist who spent some time working in the USA, I came across the solution focused therapy.

Solution focused brief therapy (SFBT), often referred to as simply 'solution focused therapy' or 'brief therapy', is a type of talking therapy. It focuses on what clients want to achieve through therapy rather than on the problem(s) that made them seek help. The approach does not focus on the past, but instead, focuses on the present and future. The therapist/counselor uses respectful curiosity to invite the client to envision their preferred future and then therapist and client start attending to any moves towards it whether these are small increments or large changes. To support this, questions are asked about the client’s story, strengths and resources, and about exceptions to the problem.

The Miracle Question The miracle question is a method of questioning that a coach or therapist uses to aid the client to envision how the future will be different when the problem is no longer present. Also, this may help to establish goals.

A traditional version of the miracle question would go like this:

"Suppose our meeting is over, you go home, do whatever you planned to do for the rest of the day. And then, some time in the evening, you get tired and go to sleep. And in the middle of the night, when you are fast asleep, a miracle happens and all the problems that brought you here today are solved just like that. But since the miracle happened over night nobody is telling you that the miracle happened. When you wake up the next morning, how are you going to start discovering that the miracle happened? ... What else are you going to notice? What else?"

It should get very good results, with clients only needing a couple of sessions, and not years and years of therapy. Also new to me, was the concept of "secondary victimisation": the victim of some traumatic experience going through the pain each time when telling the fact to police men or therapists who think that "talking about it will help them heal".