Job hunting

This post for my last months and this specific part of life which is never great fun: looking for a job. Already before my Zim contract was over, we started looking, remembering that paradoxical piece of advice: it's easier to find a job when you already have one. With my defined life project of changing parts of the world every four years, it also meant being limited to the Arab world, and I had initially set my mind to the Middle East, Lebanon or Syria. This meant at least the search was better defined but our options more limited as well. Though I pride myself in not being a complete catastrophe at drafting CV and motivation letters, it's still never the best of times, especially if you're as picky as I am. Browsing the regular list of development jobs to see if anything new came out, sending out applications left and right, following up leads, getting in touch with people that might know someone that might know someone, and hardly ever getting replies, let alone positive ones, it's all not very good for your state of mind. I must admit, somewhere around April, it was all getting too much for me. 

I tried to do it as is recommended, keeping an active life, planning my day with Arab classes, playing my capoeira, social events, not putting too much pressure on myself and all, but I must admit I was dreading that recurring question you dread when you see friends and family:"And, found anything yet?". They mean well, but somehow you don't want to dwell on it too much, raising your hopes and expectations while they might not materialize. I am not one to stay at home and just watch series to pass time. And while volunteering is always an option, it's usually with a role and inside structures that won't let them really capitalize on your experiences 

or plan for longer term projects. Despite my growing experience, it was still hard and once Thomas had his posting in Rabat, Morocco, the range became even more limited and not very encouraging.

Once you have a job, people tend to forget how hard it was being without a job, having all the idle time, playing at occupational therapy and keeping yourself busy, without feeling as if your lazy or a parasite to society (especially if you're still on unemployment benefits). Most conversations with new people start with:"So, what are you doing?" and there are only so many original replies you can come up with, while not sounding desperate or plain undesirable, but still communicating your wish to be active. I even noticed I started avoiding meeting new people, just cause I didn't want to get into it. You also don't want to show your friends too much that it's hard, cause honestly, there's not much they can do. If you went through a bad break up or traumatic experience, it might help to talk about it, but in this case, all the good advice just seemed to make me want to shout out with frustration or sit down and cry.

Now I can write this post and explain the prolonged radio silence on this blog, since I have found a job and am very happy with it, but before entering into details about all that, I did want to have one post to explain and to help me remember how it felt...