You don't miss the water till the well is dry...

As a general rule, we are very fortunate with the services to our house. Compared to other houses in Harare, we get a lot of electricity (hardly any cuts) and usually full time water. We have no idea as to why this is, some say that it is because we are on the same grid as a big hospital, others that there must be a top guy from a ministry or ZANU PF living in our neighbourhood. Anyway, whatever the reason, we were very happy about this.

Since Saturday though, there was a huge pipe burst two blocks from our house. The entire main road was flooded and water ran as far as three streets down. Bursted pipelines are not uncommon in Harare, our street is almost continuously slippery (which isn't great with a motorbike) and there is a huge hole in the road from which people sometimes come and fill their buckets. Apparently about 75% of all the water in Harare is lost somewhere like this. Meanwhile, people are being charged ridiculous rates of two USD per month for their water consumption. Many would love to pay more, and have water all the time but can't. Needless to say, people often stay without water. Our direct colleagues get water like two or three hours a day and usually at like 2 or 3am. Hardly the time you want to wash your clothes or do the dishes... So, us the lucky ones, we used to have friends or colleagues come over and use our bathroom, wash their hair or kids.

But now, since this bursted pipe last Saturday, we didn't have any water either. And we aren't prepared for this. In the beginning, you say it isn't that bad, I mean, you can survive without bathing for a couple of days. But when all the dishes are dirty, you can't cook or even make coffee, the cat is walking around with its tongue out cause of thirst, you feel all sticky and smelly, you don't dare to go bear the toilet anymore because of the foul smell and you just peeled an orange and can't even wash your hands, well, you miss the water!

Thank God, since this morning, one of the people from our compound asked another neighbour who has a borehole (water pumped up from underground reservoirs) and he let us use a hooze for twenty minutes. I can tell you, seeing the excitement of all the neighbours, all the possible bottles, pots and pans, anything that can contain water were all rushed outside, even an old baby bath, and filled to the rim. Buckets dragged away and back, hearing toilets flushed and bathtubs filled up... Never had such a joyful meeting with the neighbours though, residents and housemaids alike. We were laughing that soon we would have to go shower like that, and make commercial spots for shampoos and all. Touching moment...

Visiting an Orphinage, what can you do....

Last Saturday, Mia, a Belgian lady friend of ours, took us to an orphanage in the south of Harare. They had about 70 children there, age ranging from 0 to 18. She'd asked me to prepare a couple of games, and I'd planned to test out role play as a therapeutic instrument, in which you ask one of the children to tell a story or memory related to a topic (trust, hurt, violence, whatever). That kid then becomes the director and picks somebody to play their role, and other kids to play the other characters. Anyway, the minute we got there, I could tell the kids were way too young, oldest being 10 or something like that. All the older kids had gone to church. But they seemed to have very definite ideas of which games to play, so let's say I just participated.
Every time there was something different to notice, suddenly a girl that turned out to be half blind, or a little kid that wanted to sit on my shoulders, the affection they were craving, and the physical touching. Just holding my pants or a finger. It breaks your heart.
So, it got me thinking. I mean, maybe sometime in the future, we had been thinking about adopting. Zimbabwe seems to have very strict rules about that and anyway, think it is still a bit too soon for me and Thomas, but maybe something in between. A sort of foster formula, maybe having a kid over during the weekends or go on a holiday together, I don't know. It would just be nice to do something, make a small contribution, and it would also make us realize the change it is to have a child even part time. So who knows, it still needs a lot of thinking and discussing, also with the orphanage but just wanted to share a bit of those thoughts with you....

Resilience and Torture

Through one of our partner organisations, our entire network was invited to a workshop on torture and resilience for peopel working with children, organised by the American Embassy. The Center for Victims of Torture facilitated it, an NGO based in the US and strongly outspoken against the possible American use of torture.

They worked in countries like RD, Sierra Leone, and our facilitator, a psychologist named David, had accompanied child soldiers there. Quite fascinating stories, and he used dance as a therapeutic tool, with moves that express feelings and emotions. We did an exercise on role play, in which a child that has lived through a traumatising experience can express itself and try to deal with it. You pick a theme, eg, violence, or trust or betrayal, and ask them in groups of four or five to work around it. A volunteer from the children is asked to share a story with the others around this topic. He then picks somebody to play his role and directs the others, restaging the entire event, but now from the point of view of somebody who is in control. It can dramatically change his prespective or outlook, as well as for the others, being put into these situations (often very recognisable) can be confronting and provoke useful debates and sharing. Imagine doing a play around bullying, and a bully being put in the shoes of the bullied... Most of the groups we did it with invented a story though, made it more like theater than as a therapeutic tool. Even our group started out like that, and though it allows to discuss themes and visions, it does not have the same impact as personal memories or traumas. But then of course, with people you just met in a workshop, it is hard to share personal memories and stories like that...

So, though I am sure the others from my group had a lot more stories than they wanted to share with us, I eventually volunteered to try and do it with my small trauma of getting attacked in Jo'burg, what is now already 8 years ago. I didn't even realize at the time I had been traumatised, but having gone back to the place just last year, the strong emotions etc made me realize it was. And actually, that has been quite helpful in order to better understand and grasp therapies or counselling tools, just imaging working with those tools around that (ridiculously small) personal trauma. And here again, it changed my perspective: it seemed I just couldn't get it right, I kept asking them to change this or that, the agressor to be more threatening, the bystanders more guilty as they just watched, the police man less friendly. I wanted it to ressemble it the situation completely, and it all came flooding back. Not in a bad way, or as flashbacks, but still. So it was useful as how to talk and share this kind of memories...

Can't say I felt healed or had the impression of getting closure though. Maybe lack of time, or lack of aftertalk, or maybe it just isn't a wonder tool for me either...